Season of Change

We've gotten really good at decompressing on the weekends. The mornings are for errands, and then we laze about the rest of the day. Movies and naps have become our specialties. Have you ever noticed that naps are more cozy on a couch than on a bed? I can't explain it. Throw in a mountain of pillows, a fleece blanket, a cuddly cat, and a rain storm, and you've got a perfect lazy Saturday. 

The house was completely still as the sky fell outside and the others were sleeping. I marveled at the fact that May starts this week. Where has the year gone? We're coming up on two years in Houston which is the time at which we anticipated our departure. Per usual, life has other plans! 

I feel like I'm in a season of change. My husband started a new job. My sister's baby is due within the next month. I have six weeks left of my first year of graduate school. I just renewed my vehicle registration for two years which makes staying in Houston very tangible. Those are all outward markers, but I feel like there's something inside me that is changing too. Turning a new leaf, as they say. We'll see what comes of it. I want to let it simply reveal new things rather than dissect it and possibly change its course. It feels good, so I'm going to keep truckin' along and let it unfold as it may.

How's that for some deep Monday thought? 

In other news,  I fell in love with a dress online only to find out it was a maternity dress. So there's that.

High Five For Friday

Long week, y'all! I think the changes in our home schedule threw me off a bit. It's been a smooth transition, but you know, change is still change. Now we're nearly to the weekend! I'm linking up with Lauren for High Five For Friday!

1.) Another successful trip to the dentist. I need to take care of my best physical feature! :)

2.) Amelie makes everything better.

3.) My "play money." ;)

4.) Go to Trader Joe's. Buy these. Thank me later.

5.) I finally got my gold Salt Water sandals in the mail!

Also, since I know she reads this blog...

I want to wish my best friend Annie a happy birthday! I can't wait to see you in six weeks, Ace! I love you, I love you, I love you (sung like Natasha Bedingfield)! This photo is from our last day of work together back at Hotel Del Coronado, back where it all began in 2008!

It's also been a great week of catching up with friends (including this long lost blogger), and I got the news that one of my best friends is pregnant! Here comes another bout of baby fever...

Happy weekending!

Bonds. Fully Matured Bonds.

Money is a stressful topic, don't you think? I miss the childhood days of playing Monopoly when I had stacks of bills fanned out in my hands, and I've always been jealous of Scrooge McDuck. The thing is it seems nearly impossible to afford life and go to school, even with a full-time income. I know I'm not the only person who feels this way. Life is expensive! To our relief, we've paid for my first year of grad school without taking out a loan, so it's been interest-free so far. We do our best to live inside our means with no debt. I am grateful for what we have. We can live a comfortable life, buy healthy food, have two cats, and dine out.

But that doesn't mean I still don't look at our bills and think, "Damn, how are we so expensive?!" (Anyone else?)

Recently, my dad mentioned that he invested in bonds for me when I was a baby, and as my luck would have it, they have fully matured. Perfect timing! I remember seeing those bonds in my parents' office when I was a kid. It  looked like play money with my name printed on it. The excitement was fleeting, because my mom explained that I couldn't have it until I was much older, and I had forgotten about it until now. They are worth a great deal more than those numbers in the top left corner now, and just as my dad had hoped, it's all going toward my education.

Moral #1: My parents are awesome. (This is such a great "gift"! Thank you, Dad and Mom!)
Moral #2: Receiving bonds is very exciting for an adult.

A Letter to the Earth

 See original here: Mind Body Green

Dear Earth,

I am sorry I missed your day. In my defense, it wasn't your birthday; it was just Earth Day. You should be happy you even get a day that is all about you, but that is beside the point. I am here now to express my love to you. (Thanks for the reminder, Devon!)

You are beautiful and fun and lively and precious and strong. Thank you for the warmth of your rays, the freshness of your showers, the adventure of your oceans, the lightness of your sky, and the challenge of your mountains. Quite literally, you make life possible, and I thank you for that. I vow to do my part to protect and enjoy you. (Did I just get intimate with Earth?)

I poked around the internet and found that many others share my love for you. Take a look:

+ Ways to naturally freshen up your home

+ Replace toxic cleaning chemicals with vinegar

+ Natural cleaning recipes

+ Homemade eye make-up remover (I simply use evoo or baby oil, but I should replace Kleenex with reusable pads like these.)

+ 8 ways vegetarianism helps the planet (although I always encourage people to review all sides and make a personal, educated decision)

+ I love browsing the Ethical Ocean shop! (This is also where I bought our soap nuts. One bag has lasted a little over a year and a half!)

Earth, you are so loved! Cheers to your special day!

The End of an Era

For the last one year and one day, THIS has been my work day, but today marks the end of an era. Mr. TBS starts a new job on Monday, so our carpooling days are over! We've been lucky enough to have a carpooling routine twice over the years. We worked for the same company back in San Diego, and this time around, we worked for different companies but in the same building.

We've been so excited about this new opportunity for him, but it wasn't until a few days ago that I realized how disappointed I'll be that we won't have those 30 minutes to just talk twice a day anymore. Those minutes have been a huge part of our marriage for the last year. We would do important things like make weekend plans, vent about work, stop somewhere for dinner on the way home, run errands, sit in silence, and decide our (in the not so distant) future baby's name. I'm so thankful for that time!

As much as I'll miss carpooling, the good outweighs the bad!

+ A better job for him
+ More money
+ I can listen to the radio (which he hates)
+ I'll get to sleep in until 7:00 a.m.
+ Space (We're have no problem being together all the time, but space never hurt anyone either.)
+ This car is going to be a top-of-your-lungs-singin' one-woman party from here on out.

Congrats to that special man in my life! Movin' on up!

Cue Spontaneous Blog Facelift

Evidently, my desire to simplify spilled over from real life to blog life. I felt the urge to change up the blog yesterday, and I didn't even think twice about it. I just did it, and it feels so good. This probably comes as no surprise to my parents who witnessed my bedroom furniture shift every 3-6 months growing up. (At one point, I completed ditched my bed and put my mattress on the floor.)

From this:

to this:

I don't have Photoshop or a library of fonts, but PicMonkey.com did me proud yesterday. (I can just imagine the blog designers of the world cringing!)

I'm not saying I won't have facelift remorse or mourn my last design (by the wonderful Ready to Blog Designs). It is very possible. Likely, even. Last night, my husband said he really liked my last design, but I threw caution to the wind, and just did it. Sometimes, you just have to.

So, that's all. Welcome to my new home! You may carry on with your Thursday now, because I know this isn't as exciting for you as it is for me. BUT I AM REALLY EXCITED.

Update:

My Fairy Blogmother sex-ified my sidebar and did some CSS magic, so now I need to officially thank PicMonkey and Bobbi!

10 Things That Make Me Happy

1.) Trader Joe's Cookie Butter

2.) My dad who doesn't mind talking on the phone with me for hours

3.) When my husband laughs to the point of tears

4.) 48 days until San Diego

5.) Wearing purple slacks to work

6.) New sandals (coming in the mail soon!)

7.) Amelie's snoring

8.) Freebirds

9.) A good deal

10.) This video:

Boston

You thought you were rid of me, eh? Well, I'm back, and I've got some things to say!

The last two weeks have been calm and quiet and good. Re-reading my last post, the situation a few weeks ago sounds so simple and one-dimensional, but it isn't. Despite that, I'm feeling good about where I am now, and I am so, so grateful for the really sweet gestures from so many. Thank you! What comes of two weeks without blogging and social media is a lot of sleep, a lot of talking with your husband, winning Scrabble (worth noting since Mr. TBS almost always wins), working out, the flu, and a whole heap of school stuff.

I admit that it was nice to pretend that this blogging thing didn't exist, but surprise, surprise. I miss it, so here I am.

Source: Sepia Lepus

I'm happy to be back, but I can't ignore the looming tragedy of yesterday. Like the rest of the country, I'm still in shock about the Boston marathon bombings yesterday. Thankfully, everyone I know is all right.

My sister is a runner, and I've been at so many of her finish lines amongst the cheers and festivities. It's an exciting place to be, and athletes dedicate so much to those events. This catastrophe leaves me shaken, even 1,800 miles away.

I'm sending my best out to Boston and all who have been affected. 

God bless those who stepped in and became heroes, no uniform required.

The Most Important Relationship

What a weekend.

I'm just checking in to say that this ol' blog is going to be quiet for the next week. I'm starting a new term for school which is really exciting (and still a little intimidating, if I'm being honest)! I really want to hunker down, get a strong start this week, and hey -- actually work out. That hasn't happened in far too long, so instead of whining about how awful that makes me feel and how my life is over, I'm just going to get my butt in gear. (I can already hear the cheers and applause from Jessica who is officially a personal trainer now!)

And since I'm being honest here, this weekend went from terrific to terrible in about two minutes flat. I felt uber accomplished Saturday morning. I ran errands and got everything in the mail to my mom and actually made it to lunch with Whitney on time. I hate being late, so I was sweatin' bullets! We had a lovely lunch, and she took me to one of her frequent shopping spots. Somehow, I was able to defend myself from her "That looks so cute on you/It's such a good deal/You should totally buy it" powers. ;) I had a pretty crummy week, personally, and some time out of the house with a friend was, well, amazing. (Thanks, Whit!)

My great mood and I went home, not knowing how quickly it would be erased. I got some surprising news soon after I got home, and for lack of a better term, it was the straw that broke the camel's back. What the news is and who it is about isn't the point. The point is it threw me like cowboy off a bronco.

Something I hate to admit is that when I feel betrayed, I immediately go into self-blaming. I don't talk about those situations, because a) some part of me knows it's a nasty mind-trick and b) I'm a huge believer in not venting to other people, because it may unintentionally skew their view of someone else important in my life, and I don't think that's fair. But without talking to someone about it, it remains internalized and quite literally eats me up. Sometimes it's for 30 minutes, and sometimes it's for two weeks. When it's more than the rare 30 minutes, it manifests in old, destructive thoughts -- that haven't materialized for a couple of years.

As a person, I think this is my greatest, deepest fault. It is counter-productive for me, and it inadvertantly affects the people around me. My husband felt that I was distant the rest of the weekend, despite my attempts to act normal and press on with our regular weekend routine. No one wins, except the irrational conclusions that had I somehow been a better, smarter, or more attractive person, it wouldn't have happened. Is it possible to be a confident person with mediocre self-esteem?

Without a doubt, I always come out on the other side completely aware of what just happened and why. Thank God for that. Looking at my life as a whole, I know I get better and better at managing that cycle and how to deal with it. I don't have it down to an art, and obviously, I'm not at the point where I nip it in the bud and prevent it altogether, but I'm getting there. And almost always, I laugh at myself afterward, because I realize how irrational it is. Heck, as I cried to my husband on Saturday, I was already laughing! (NOTE: I'm almost positive that laugh-crying looks as weird as it feels.)

In the end, I think we're all doing the best we can with the cards dealt. Are we irrational human beings? Of course. Should we learn to laugh at ourselves afterward? Absolutely. And most importantly, we should take care of ourselves. I don't mean to offend anyone, considering it's the day after Easter, but I think the most important relationship in my life is the one I have with myself. I know that in order to offer the best of me to my husband, future kid, family, friends, co-workers, the Universe, God, and even strangers, I want to continue to work on myself.

Anyway, that concludes today's two cents (two dollars?). I'll check back soon. Enjoy your week!