A New Frame of Mind

Thank you, friends, for your encouragement after Monday's post. Sometimes I forget who/how many read this little space of the internet until I receive thoughtful blog comments and text messages and e-mails and What's App messages and FaceTime calls. So much support, and I thank you. Really. From the bottom of my new mama heart 'neath a tank top doused in spit up, thank you. Having a newborn is such a gift. There are so many special moments with this tiny human being who has made me a mother and will, undoubtedly, teach me as much as I'll ever teach her, if not more. This child is priceless and wonderful, so naturally, no amount of difficulty in adjusting to this new life will ever outweigh how precious this time with her is.

Yesterday she fell asleep during tummy time, and then I fell asleep snuggling her. Check out my under-eye bags!

I felt like sharing that post, because guess what? Becoming a parent can be hard, and there's no shame in that. Sometimes, it's hard for five minutes; sometimes, two hours; sometimes, three months, as I'm told by friends who had colicky infants. It's different for everyone, and it's just a fact of life. Whatever length of time, it will pass, but it's okay for parents to say aloud that it's hard and exhausting and frustrating. I'm not afraid to be honest about that. Everyone shows their best selves on the internet for myriad reasons, but ultimately, someone's "best" isn't the same as "real," you know? I do not have postpartum depression, not that that would be shameful, but if I did, it sure would be nice to know/read that someone else is feeling defeated, too, even if just for a day. Without a support system in Memphis, the UPS delivery guy is our only visitor, so that makes this time a little isolating too.

Have you seen the movie About Time? I highly recommend it. (It was directed by Richard Curtis, the director of Love Actually. Both have that "life is so much more than we see in the moment," "feel good" quality.) Tim, the main character, closes the film with: "I just try to live every day as if I've deliberately come back to this one day, to enjoy it, as if it was the full final day of my extraordinary, ordinary life." Beautiful, right?

We're trying the five S's from The Happiest Baby on the Block, giving her daily probiotic drops, giving her fresh air and sunshine, loving on her ever-growing self constantly, and just plain ol' accepting that things are what they are today -- and that tomorrow is a new day.

Another good cure for the exhaustion? Writing her birth story. Nothing fills me with more accomplishment, joy, and wonder than reliving her birth and the several hours that followed. Story to come soon!